Question Number 12: Overachievement

o·ver·a·chieve [oh-ver-uh-cheev]

to perform better or achieve more than expected, especially by others.

The last few days, I have just been so very tired.

I know that I do too much to handle.  I take every opportunity, participating in everything available to me and more.  This wouldn't be so detrimental if I didn't push myself to the absolute breaking point in everything, no matter how seemingly insignifcant, as I attempt to reach that unnattainable goal: perfection.

My list of things to do seems to grow with each passing day-On top of my honors classes and National Honors Society, I run cross country, I swim competitively, I am in my school musical, I have an after-school job as a lifeguard, and I volunteer as a tutor.  Oh, and I am forgetting the most important activity, the one that I am constantly reminded is my main focus, the one takes up hours and hours of my time: I study.  A lot.  I study so much that I lose sleep.  Which brings me back to the ever-present fact that I am so very tired.

And while I love everything I do with all my heart and throw my entire being to each activity, I can't help but ask myself:

 

When does achievement become overachievement?  When does it all become too much to handle?

 

Many would say that "too much to handle" is the point when you wake with a start and find your face stuck in the glossy pages of a text book in the late hours of the night.  But instead of sleeping, you go right back to studying.  And yet, this is a scene that has taken place in my room too many times to count. 

 

Again, I cannot stress enough that I do all that I do because I love it.  However, it often becomes less enjoyable when I am trying so hard to be the best at it.  I always have been a little too competitive.  For me, perfection is the goal, and anything less is only acceptable.  I do this to myself; I am my biggest critic.  I only allow myself praise when I have reached that stage that seems as close to perfect as I will ever be.

 

Madonna once said, “I became an overachiever to get approval from the world”
In my case, I became an overachiever to get approval from myself.