Question Number 9: Defining Ourselves

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” ― Lao Tzu

The truth of this quote rings louder than I can comprehend.  So why is it so hard to live out in every day life?

I know I am not the only one out there who tries on an outfit for some special occassion and must first send a picture of it to a friend with the caption, "Does this look okay?" before I can actually wear it.  But if I like the outfit, if I think it looks okay, why do I need someone else's approval?

Have you ever noticed that a single sincere compliment suddenly makes your day seem that much better?  And yet in contrast, a snide or condescending remark from someone else forces all that self-confidence to fly out the window.  Of course, this is something I am constantly working on.  How many times have I heard advice from parents and peers, "It doesnt matter what other people think."  And I agree-I try every day to be my own person, define who I am by what I desire, not what others do. 

And yet, when someone says,

"You are beautiful"

 I believe them.  And suddenly I am soaring-I am beautiful.

But then, when someone says,

"I don't like you"

I am heartbroken, and I wonder dejectedley if anyone does.

Why do we define ourselves by how others see us?

I write an essay for Language Arts class that I have poured my heart and soul into, one that I spent hours perfecting and feel as if a part of me lies within the words.  And yet, I must wait for the "A" written on the top of the page in red pen before I can truly feel as if it was a success.

Hearing people say great things about me makes me smile uncontrollably, while rumors or critiscm hurt more than I could ever describe. 

However, with each passing day, I am beginning to feel more and more comfortable in my own skin.  I am starting to completely belive that it truly doesn't matter what other people think, because it doesn't. 

I will define myself by how I see myself.
I will receive compliments with a smile and a sincere "Thank you", but I will not let them shape my entire day.
I will not allow criticism to tear down any of my self confidence.
I will be me.

And everyone else should do the same.