Question Number 7: We used to be friends

Hallways. High school. 100's of people.

You smile at those that you know and ignore those that you don't.  And what about those that you used to know, but don't know now?

I remember when I was a freshman, so wrapped up in the beginnings of high school and the unknown of whatever might lay ahead. A senior offered to drive me home from school one day, and  on that solitary car ride, we talked about life. We talked about school, we talked about boys, we talked about our futures, and we talked about friends.  She said to me knowingly, "The friends that you have your freshman year will drastically change.  I haven't even spoken to my freshman best friend in 3 years."

I looked at this girl, this 18-year-old girl who had lived only a few years more than I had but had experienced what felt like a life-time more, and I nodded agreeingly.  But inside, I was calling her a liar.  Because I knew that my best friends that I had at that moment, the ones I relied on for everything and went to before anyone else when I needed someone to talk to or spend time with, would always be my best friends.  I would never be this girl, who untangled herself from her freshman friends as she grew older.  I would never be her.

I was wrong.

As I flip through the scrap book I made the summer after freshman year, the one I spent hours sorting through my digital camera and 1000's of memories to create, I can count at least 10 faces of smiling people who I have not had a decent conversation with since the bell rang on the final day of freshman year.  And as much as it pains me to say it, the senior with the knowing glint in her eyes who drove me home from school one day was completely right.  Friends change.  And it really is heart-breaking. 

Yesterday at scool, I walked by a sweeter-than-sugar girl in the hallways who I spent hours on end laughing with last year.  We didn't even smile at each other as we walked by.  So much has changed in one year that it is as if we do not even recognize one another.  It is as if we were never friends.  Were we?

What does it take for a friend to become a stranger?

Some of those friends strangers I miss more than anything.  Some of them I don't, silently wondering how we were ever friends in the first place.  Either way, there was a time when I could have gone to them for anything, told them anything, asked them anything.  And now, I can't even smile at them in the hallways without feeling strange and out of place.  Was it me who changed, or was it them?  Was it time that tore us apart, or was it us? 

I once read a quote that stuck with me forever: "Strangers are just friends waiting to happen."

But what if certain friends are just strangers waiting to happen?

Question Number 6: Valentine's Day

I'll try.
I'll try to ignore the heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, the heart-shaped cookies, the heart-shaped cards, and the teddy bears holding hearts.  I'll try to remember it's just another day.  I'll try.

Why is it that being alone feels so much worse on Valentine's Day?

Question Number 5: Fashion repeats itself

I will be the first to admit that I do not know very much know absolutely nothing about fashion.

On a typical day, I just throw on whatever looks okay and go with it.  My style is extremely casual-jeans, uggs, and a cute shirt.  So I will be the last person to blog about fashion on a regular basis.  However, today is different.

I bought a new shirt at Nordstroms while shopping with a friend.  I fell in love with it instantly, it was bright and unique- flashes of orange and blue and yellow and an understated tribal design.  I wore it home, and was excited to show my mother.  However, as soon as I walked in the door, she claimed the shirt was, and I quote, "ugly as sin".

This was shocking to say the least, considering the fact that we usually have a similar taste in fashion.  When I dejectedly asked her why, she said it was because it reminded her of the 70's-a fashion disaster in her mind that should never be repeated.

So I got to thinking-

When something goes out of style, should it stay out of style?

It's a common fact that fashions repeat themselves- the oversized shirts and legwarmers of the 80's have reappeared and modernized themselves today.  Saddle shoes from the 50's have found their way back to the feet of teenagers in the halls of my school. And apparently, the bright colored disasters from the 70's have come back to haunt the teens this decade.

However, I know for a fact that my mother herself wore shirts similar to the one she called "ugly as sin" when she was a kid in the 70's.  Then, it was beautiful.  Now, it's so ugly she can't bear to look at it?  Of course, there are numerous articles of clothing stuffed in the back of my closet that I cringe to admit I ever wore.  Yet in 20 years, I might be digging that god-awful vest from 7th grade out of my drawer to wear again. 

Fashion repeats itself...is this for the better or for the worse?

Question Number 4: Friendship

And speaking of 80's movies-

"When Harry Met Sally" poses a questions that has flashed through the minds of every human being on this planet-

Can men and women ever be "just friends"?

This question truly has no answer- I'd like to say yes, but as I run through every close friendship I've had with boys, I find that at some point I have caught myself silenty wondering what it would be like if suddenly our friendship took off.  Of course, the musing disappears and I forget about it, returning willingly to the friendship that will never be more.  But those fleeting moments mean that maybe "just friends" is an illusion.  There might always be that part of you, however small, that asks the forbidden question: "what if?"

 My mother always told me that falling in love with a friend is the best way to find true love.  She says that true love stems from friendship.  And I honestly don't see how that can't be true-after all, isn't being in love somewhat similar to having a best friend?  Someone there for you in every moment who loves you despite your flaws?  Maybe we should all stop asking our guy friends advice on how to find love and look right in front of us at the love that has been there all along.

Or maybe we shouldn't risk it. 

I guess we will never know.

Fairy Tales for Teenagers

80s movies are how I get through tough days.

All of my favorite movies, the ones that I watch over and over again and never get tired of, were made in the 80's.  "The Breakfast Club", "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", "Back to The Future", "Sixteen Candles","Dirty Dancing", "When Harry Met Sally", and the list goes on.  They're so touching, so wonderfully brillant, so very relatable and wonderful.  They are like fairy-tales for teenagers.  I cry real tears of happiness at the end of each one, when the princess and prince are united, when friendships are mended, when problems are solved, when the happy ending is reached, and all is well, if only for a moment.

If only life were an 80's movie.
We'd make friends with people we'd never even dream of talking to on a typical day.
We'd have the courage to live life to the fullest, forget the rules that define our lives, and be crazy when we have the chance to.
We'd do things we'd never imagine possible.
We'd defy all the odds and win the prince charming that every girl wants.
We'd figure out we who truly are and meet the man of our dreams while we are at it.
We'd realize our love for that friend who's always been there, and he'd love us back, not despite our flaws, but because of them.

Question Number Three: Simon Says

Simon says, “Raise your hand.”

Simon says, “Touch your toes.” 

Simon says, “Clap your hands.”

And so, you jump up and down, and so you touch your toes, and so you clap your hands.

Because that is what Simon says.

All your life, Simon says, “Do this.”

Simon says, “Say that.”

Simon says, “Believe in this.”

Simon says, “Be that.”

Simon tells you what to do and where to go, he tells you how to live and how to act, he tells you who you are and who to be.

There will always be a Simon in your life- at least, that's how it seems to me now.  There is constantly someone telling me what to do.  I know that sometimes, that is for the best.  But sometimes, it's not.  Because if someone else is always Simon, when will I be Simon?  When will I be the controller of my own life, directing it wherever I may want to go?

When you are young, and children’s games don’t appear to mean a thing, listening to Simon seems to be the best-the only-option.  However, when you grow up, suddenly you realize that the game isn’t fun anymore.  Suddenly, you find yourself longing to drift from the circle of people raising their hand, touching their toes, and clapping their hands.  You find that you no longer choose to listen to Simon.  Instead, you listen to yourself.

This brings me to my question for today:

When is it acceptable to stop doing what Simon

says, and become Simon youself?

Question Number Two: Apples on Trees

I once read a quote that stuck in mind like super glue and never seemed to leave.  I think about it sometimes before I fall asleep.  It flys unwillingly into my mind as I daydream.  I repeat it to myself when I'm feeling lonely.

"Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten
apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree."

I would like so much to believe that this quote is true.  But more times that not, I believe that it is a lie, a trick meant to spark hope in the hearts of young girls who feel alone.  And if this quote really is true, I suppose it brings me to my question for the week:

When will the boy with the ladder come along?

I see it happen all the time.  A perfectly perfect girl willing to give everything to any boy willing to give something to her, and yet she is tossed aside.  She has nothing but goodness in her heart, and yet she is ignored.  When will she ever get the chance she deserves?  Why is she seemingly nothing compared to the other girls standing beside her?  When will her time come?  Will it ever come?